I dont know when you will ever get to find out that i set up a blog just to have my feelings for you recorded down. or maybe, perhaps you will never know. but its alright, i just want to have you in, in everyday of my memories.
:)
today its 20.11.2011
the day i finally had the courage to lie on your sturdy shoulder, the day i found myself getting jealous over you, the day i found that wee bit of courage to confess my feelings for you and the day we first held our hands.
i thought the stay at MBS would be absolutely perfect in a pretty room, with a magnificent seaview, beautiful friends and you. but never would i know that seeing another girl in your phone's wallpaper would totally change everything. i could almost felt my heart dropped the moment i hang up the call with juisin on your phone. for that moment, i felt as if i just lost the whole world. i couldnt understand why you would change your feelings for someone that fast. i felt that you were no different from the other guys.
i disappeared cos i felt i couldnt face you at the moment. i need a breather to sort out my thoughts and emotion and i wanted nobody to find me. cos nobody knows, that i've actually started falling all over you.
when i thought it through, i really wanted to talk to you, to ask you personally about whats going on. but to my disappointment, you werent in the room when i went back. even when you came back, your time was still occupied by the very long phone calls with her - the girl in your phone. i dont know what going on between the two of you, but seeing you on the phone with her just made me go uncomfortable :(
with you still standing at the balcony on the phone, i just couldnt fall asleep! i tossed and turn, walk up and down and finally i decided to walk out to the balcony, to you. not knowing whats going to happen next, i'm so glad i did that. because i did, i had the chance to be with you alone, watching the sky turn from darkness to brightness, having such heart-to-heart talk just warm up my heart, it was comforting enough to know that you still care, and you are still here for me.
躺在你肩膀上的我，突然觉得好开心好幸福。
舒服到忍不住小睡了以下，却有不想再起来。
真的好希望时间能够停留在那一瞬间，不再转动。
应该是开心过头了吧，所以一晚没睡的我都不觉得累。
the second time we watched 那些年，我们一起追的女孩 was even more meaningful than the first. i have never watch the movie twice in the theatres, and of cos i've never watched the same movie with the same person. the first time we watched, i thought of the people in my school life and him. but the second time i watched it, my whole mind was filled with you, even though you are just sitting right beside me.
i couldnt control my arms, and my arms decided to go around yours. and when our hands locked, i smiled :) smiling to myself from the bottom of my heart in the darkness. although you still let go in the end. i'm still contented, even for just that few minutes. cos my heart, totally melted.
:)
p.s it was 柯腾 who gave me the idea to start blogging all over again.
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