#15 明天以后

so close to heart. i've never know the lyrics of the song could explain how i felt.

在你的记忆里面有一个我

在你最痛苦的时候陪你度过难过

过了天晴朗了

我就走

http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=465391569754574483

所以我们才选择
做比情人更好的朋友

#14 the first of twenty twelve

hello 123,'
'
how has your 2012 been so far? i guess you must have been busy with your expo huh. hadnt been catching up with you cos work+school has really tire me out for this week! and this week has not even ended :( i hope you have been doing great so far, clinching new deals and getting nearer to your goals. but i guess you still have slim down ba! hahaha... do still have your meals on time and reduce your coffee intake oh.

on a bad note, i had been late for work and class ever since 2012! thats bad, very bad. hadnt been able to catch the timing of the buses in the morning. the Sgnextbus that you recommended isn't so accurate anymore. and going to class late is really unavoidable cos my principal really really is so long winded.

well, i felt like it was only few weeks back when we got jiahui to buy the amei concert ticket. 一转眼 2 months had past and we are going for the concert in two days time! hadnt been to concert for the longest time in my life and i'm certainly looking forward.

and it has been almost a month now since we last met. i hope there wouldnt be any difference when we meet for the concert on saturday cos we once promise that everything will still stay the same, isnt it. and i am still waiting to see if you are going to 放飞机 for this year reunion steamboat. if you do, i am really not going to contact you again for half a year!

:)

good night peikai,
rest well.

#13 我们怎么了?

ever wonder why in everybody else's opinion, jenn is a strong and brave girl? and yet, in front of you she's not at all. that's because she cannot lie to you, you cant seem to pretend in front of you. all this while, you were the only one that she can tells anything and everything with. be it happy, sad or even the ugly times.

but i guess, she wont be doing that anymore.

#12 平安夜

Its close to 3am on the Christmas eve night and I just got home not long ago. Had to shower in icy cold water cos my parents are asleep and I didn't want to disturb them so now I'm wide awake, while waiting for my hair to dry :)

You are still online at whatsapp too. But I didn't dare to send you a text. I keep on logging into whatsapp just to see if u are still online.. And u are there! But I'm really scared that u would just ignore my messages again. The feeling u are giving now is just like how u treated Kim when she wanted to talk to u more but u just stop right there. I dont knw if I'm right but I really hate this kind of treatment. So the only thing I can do is to rant here, to scream here!

Anyway, it's Christmas eve.. So 平安夜快乐！

I'm still waiting for my Xmas present!

#11 下雨天

It has been raining the whole of today! I just came back from my annual Christmas dinner with my girlfriends. I went online for awhile and saw u logged in on Facebook too. I felt the urge to msg you on fb but I don't know what was holding me back. Den I remembered one of the last song u sang during our last ktv.

下雨天 by Lara. And the following lyrics really describe how I am feeling now.

下雨天了怎么办我好想你

我不敢打给你我找不到原因

为什么失眠的声音变的好熟悉

沉默的场景做你的代替

陪我等雨停

I'm not sure if you are back from ur KL trip already. If you are, I'm quite sure u are trying to keep a distance away from me. Aren't you?

Today I changed the blog address from tomydearestshifu.blogspot to tomydearshifu.blogspot because this blog was discovered by my sister who walked into the room when I was out in the kitchen and I forgot to log off from the page :(( although she didn't say anything, from her eyes I could felt tt she saw something she shldnt have. And so I decided to change just in case.

#10 逊透了!

dear shifu,

while i'm typing this away, you should be having loads of fun thousands miles away. but something happened today which really upset me and i just feel like typing my feelings and thoughts away bcos there's no one else who understand this matter better than you do.

today, yew centre has this teambuilding session organized by my principal. so all of us has to head back to centre in the afternoon even when we dont need to work. to start of this session, my principal got us to talk abt first impressions and introduce more about ourselves - which i really dread it coming.

the thing is that my principal doesnt know anything about my marriage cancellation and she still thought i'm going to get married sometime soon. so when they were sharing who is married, with how many children, who's not... blah blah blah

SUDDENLY, the arrow just came shooting into me. everyone is SOOOO interested in my status cos i' relatively new to them. at first i just replied that no i'm not married and i'm not getting married. i just smile off their questions and the topic was shifted over to someone else.
i was like so relieved!

BUT, not too long later. the cook went to ask if i got boyfriend and the limelight is on me once again. but before i could answer, my principal went to answer for me. she told everyone that i'm going to get married soon, of cos have boyfriend now!

for that moment, i really dont know how to react. all i remembered was that i could only smile, and just smile at everyone looking at me. i so wanted to tell them that i'm actually not but i didnt have the courage to open my mouth.

i really dont know how to tell them. i thought i wont need to share this with anyone anymore. i thought at this new workplace, nobody would know abt my past. but my principal just let everything out :((

so many questions were going through my mind.
what if when i told them i cancelled my wedding. they will ask why?
what if i told them i broke off with my fiance. they also will ask why?
whatever i say, i'm sure they will be curious why

i guess i'm still not ready to answer them or perhaps its bcos i felt that i'm not obligated to answer them ba. haiiss!

我很逊对不对?
我也是这样觉得.

#9 不是我不明白

不是我不明白 说悲哀并不应该
我们的关怀 像爱但又说不上爱
沒有后來 我们才学会爱
但现在说來感慨 不是那个未來
我们说好的 不会更改的 你会在

this is the only song i have been listening to these few days. so you can imagine the Nth time i am listening to it now.

you are so busy with your work i hope you have your meals on time :)
i miss the time we could just msg non stop and anything on earth.